dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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