The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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