yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
