why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
