You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
