So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
this hospital has no fireball
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
