i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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