I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
