I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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