Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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