Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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