Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
