And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
