shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
