it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
