no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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