my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
