The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
