Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
