After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
