So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just want to make out with him forever
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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