Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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