Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
