It's a beautiful day for a hangover
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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