god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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