I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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