sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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