I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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