oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I need to stop coming to work sober
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
