is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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