Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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