..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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