This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
