we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
