don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
