I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
