So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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