You're my little dorito
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Congratulations! We have a period
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