I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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