I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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