I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
