Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize