Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
