So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
