Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
