i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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