I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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