I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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