Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
