just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
