I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
