You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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