We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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